Good and Hard Times
by MP94
Summary: Post Mockingjay Epilogue. Katniss, Peeta and their daughter Ivy live a happy life. With a second baby on the way, they try to live as best as they can to honor the deaths of the people they lost.
1. At Midnight

Chapter 1:

It starts at midnight. Fifteen years ago, that had a completely different meaning. Just the thought of it, would bring a terror that paralyzed me. Now, though, it brings a sense of normalcy. But above all, it brings happiness. The sound of footsteps outside my door makes me open my eyes. I turn to my left side and see Peeta's eyes fixed on the door.

"It's midnight. Like clockwork", he says with a smile on his face.

"Every night since she learned how to walk", I say, shaking my head slightly.

I get out of bed and walk towards the door. I can hear the quiet sobs on my way there. _A nightmare_, I think to myself. When I open the door, my daughter is rubbing her eyes with her left hand while clutching her stuffed bunny with her right. I kneel, so I'm looking directly at her bright blue eyes. I've learned not to pick her up immediately. I don't want her to assume that I'm always going to lay her down with Peeta and me. This was hard for me, I can't resist that little face of hers, but it was particularly hard for Peeta as he loves spoiling her so much.

"What's wrong, baby?" I ask while holding her free hand.

"I had a nightmare, mummy." She says, tears forming in her eyes.

She started walking when she was 11 months old. At first, she wouldn't get out of her crib, she would just cry. Once she had enough confidence to walk on her own, she started knocking on our door every night at midnight. That's when I decided to stop her from doing this before it got worse. Instead of just picking her up and letting her sleep the rest of the night with us, Peeta and I would ask her what she needed or the reason why she was up. When she had no good reason to be up, we would take her back to her room.

The flaw with this plan was, that she figured what she had to say in order for us to allow her to stay in our room. We figured it out soon enough, though. Every time she would lie, the tiniest smile would form on her lips or she wouldn't make eye contact. I guess it would be pretty extraordinary for a 3 year old to get away with lying. But this time is different though, she doesn't have any hint of a smile on her face, she's looking directly at me, and when I held her hand, I felt her shaking.

"Do you want to talk about it, baby?" I ask, thinking this is exactly what Peeta and I say to each other when we have nightmares.

She nods. I guide her to our bed, where Peeta is waiting with a concerned look. She has never reacted like this to a nightmare before. I pick her up and lay her between Peeta and me, and then he pulls the sheets up covering us all to the middle of our stomachs.

"What was your nightmare about, bunny?" Peeta says, using the nickname we gave her when we found out her adoration for bunnies when she was 1 year old.

"We were in the lake…" She starts with a trembling voice. "…we were swimming in it like always, having fun." At this point, tears well up in her eyes.

"It's okay, bunny. We're here." I say soothingly while pulling her close to me.

She looks up at me and her left hand finds Peeta's and grabs it as if he would suddenly disappear.

She continues, "I was splashing daddy with the water and then you told me to hold my breath and go under. I put my head under the water for just a little bit and when I came back out, you and daddy where gone." She starts crying brokenheartedly.

I hold her tighter, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and my other hand rests on her left cheek, and at the same time I pull her closer to my chest. Peeta slides his body down the bed until his face is at the same level as hers.

"Bunny, you know mummy and I would never, ever leave you. You know that, right? Peeta says rubbing her back.

"We love you so much, baby. We will never leave you, no matter what." I say, still holding her tight.

"But it was so real. I felt the water on my skin, mummy". She says, her crying minimizing a little.

"I know, that's why nightmares are so scary. They feel very real sometimes". I say, raising her chin so I can look her in the eyes.

The moment I say that, she frowns a little, as if remembering something. She turns to look at Peeta quite suddenly.

"Is that why mummy holds you when you have a nightmare, daddy?" She asks with a still trembling voice.

Peeta looks up at me immediately. We are both shocked. We hadn't realized that Ivy knew about our nightmares. At least Peeta's. My nightmares occur in the middle of the night, so it would be hard for her to notice, but Peeta's flashbacks can be triggered by anything, at any moment. I always made sure Ivy was in her room when Peeta had a flashback, but I never thought she would leave her room and maybe see what was going on and then go back to her room confused or maybe even scared.

Suddenly, I feel guilty. Has my lack of attention caused Ivy to have these nightmares that frighten her so much? Should I have been more careful with how I handled the situation? I can't expect Peeta to notice. He's either worn out by the flashbacks after they pass or too pissed at himself for thinking, even if it is for just a second, that he would hurt us, even if it wasn't really him thinking that.

Peeta is shocked, but his voice doesn't show it when he speaks to Ivy.

"Bunny, how do you know that?" he asks softly with a hint of curiosity.

Ivy looks at him for a minute, as if trying to find her words.

"A few days ago, I woke up from my nap and I walked to the top of the stairs to see if mummy was drinking her tea on the couch, like she always does…" Ivy speaks with a certain fear in her voice, as if she's confessing a mischief. "Then I heard your voice and something breaking. You said you cut yourself. Then, you went quiet. I saw mummy stand really fast from the couch and ran into the kitchen." She stops to look at me. "I wanted to know why you ran, mummy. So, I walked down the stairs very quietly and saw you hugging daddy. He was holding the table very hard and his face scared me, so I went back upstairs".

Ivy described exactly what I was thinking a minute ago. This is all my fault. I'm such an idiot. How couldn't I have thought this would happen sooner than later? Peeta is fast at explaining the situation to her.

"Ivy, did you know that grown ups also have nightmares sometimes?" he asks, not leaving his blue eyes from hers.

She shakes her head, looking confused. "But daddy, you weren't sleeping. How come you had a nightmare while you were awake?" Ivy asks curious.

I was thankful many times with Peeta's ease with words and tonight, I'm grateful once again, for I would have never been able to explain this to her the way he did.

"Sometimes, people go through terrible things that leave them hurting inside, bunny. And, even though we try really hard to forget, occasionally our brain reminds us of those terrible things. You know how?" He asks her, holding her gaze.

"Nightmares?" She asks with an edge of doubt.

"Yes, bunny. Nightmares shows us again what happened in the past but, sometimes our brain plays tricks on us and makes us see things that never really happen, scaring us a lot."

"I don't understand, daddy. You and mummy have never left me while we were on the lake. Why would I dream something so scary, if its never happen?" She asks.

"Remember when you told us how your nightmare began? We were in the lake having a lot of fun, like we always do?" –she nods- "Well, your brain used that happy memory to scare you, Ivy. Sometimes it happens and it's ok to be scared as long as you know it isn't real."

I feel Peeta is talking for both Ivy and him. He is reminding himself that the flashbacks he has are not real and that I would never hurt him or Ivy. Which, he has told me are the flashbacks that affects him most.

I can see relief flooding Ivy's face after Peeta has finished explaining the whole situation to her. It still bothers me that Ivy had to go through this. I know it was inevitable, she would have nightmares that would scare her out of her mind, but I was hoping it didn't occur so early. And I was certainly expecting that we would explain to Ivy when she was a bit older, why the flashbacks and nightmares came and why they won't really go away.

I can tell Peeta notices the guilt I'm feeling and gives me a reassuring smile and a look that tells me everything is going to be okay. Ivy starts to get comfortable between us, never loosening the grip on her bunny, which brings her comfort.

I kiss her forehead and pull the covers under her chin. "Do you feel like sleeping now?" I ask with a smile on my face.

She answers with a yawn. Peeta and I laugh a little. We are both shifting our positions, when I feel Ivy turning towards me.

"Mummy?" She asks with a sleepy voice.

"Yes, bunny?" I say stroking her hair.

"Can you sing?" She says, giving me look that I can't resist. I see a smile forming on Peeta's face.

"Of course, baby." I say, our noses almost touching.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes

And when again they open, the sun will rise."

I am about to start the second verse, when I notice Ivy already fell asleep. I guess she was worn after the nightmare and the discussion after. For now, it doesn't look like she'll be traumatized by this. I know making her comfortable with the idea of having nightmares will take a while. But for now, I just let her sleep.

"Goodnight, bunny". I say kissing her cheek.

"Goodnight, baby". Peeta says kissing the back of her head.

Peeta and I stare at each other for a while. He smiles at me and links his hands with mine, avoiding Ivy's head.

"Don't even think about it". He says, suddenly very serious.

"Think about what?" I say barely in a whisper.

"It's not your fault she had this nightmare". He says as if reading my mind.

"I can't help it. I should've been more careful". I say looking at Ivy.

"You can't always shield her from everything bad, Katniss". He says giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. "If anything, I should've been more careful. I know blood is one of the triggers". He says.

"You can't be tiptoeing around the house all the time, Peeta." I sigh. "I wish I could though, it really bothers me that I can't just protects her from everything that would brings those tears". I say, rubbing my eyes.

"I know, it bothers me too. You're tired, close your eyes. Thank God tomorrow's Sunday and I don't have to go to the bakery. We can stay all day long in bed if you want to." He says giving me a smile.

"I would like that very much" –I yawn- "Goodnight, Mr. Mellark." I say with a smile.

"Goodnight, . I love you". Peeta says closing his eyes.

"I love you too". I say drifting off.


	2. Fidelity and Eternity

Chapter 2:

I feel sunlight entering our room. I turn my head and see Ivy has cuddled with Peeta. I turn completely so I'm facing them. I can't help but smile. I allow this feeling to run through my body. I still have bad days, but since Ivy was born, there are more good days than bad. I never thought I would have kids. I'm glad Peeta convinced me otherwise. After 15 years of subtle and direct messages, I finally told Peeta that I knew what he wanted. So, I told him I was ready. _I want to have a baby_, I said. He made sure to ask me if I really wanted this or if I was just doing it to please him. I locked my gray eyes with his blue ones and repeated what I said. _I want to have a baby_. The widest smile formed on his face as he picked me up and started kissing with such passion, that I knew I had made the right decision.

Four months later, I found out I was pregnant. I had my suspicions, but before I told Peeta, I wanted to be completely sure. I didn't want to see that smile fade off his face if I was mistaken. So, I made a doctor's appointment. By that time, District 12 had been completely rebuilt. There was a medical centre, shops, a new justice building and many other things. I felt like I was living somewhere else. I made sure the appointment was scheduled during Peeta's work hours. From Monday to Saturday he wakes up at 4am to go to the bakery and he's back home at 4pm. Sundays are his days off.

My medical history is pretty extensive, so when Dr. Murs came in with it, she had to lay the huge file on the desk before introducing herself.

"Mrs. Mellark, nice to meets you. I'm Dr. Murs. What can I help you with today?" She said with a smile on her face.

"Please, call me Katniss". Every time someone calls me Mrs. Mellark, I picture Peeta's abusive mother. "I think I'm pregnant and I just want to confirm it and make sure everything is alright." I said, quite nervously.

"Very well, then." Dr. Murs opens my medical history and reads it. "I see you don't like needles". She says with a very serious look.

"Yeah, not a fan". I've had enough needles stuck into my arm for a lifetime.

"Okay, then." She puts down the file and opens a drawer and pulls out a cup with a plastic wrap. "You know what to do with this, right?" She says with a smile.

I laugh, "I have a pretty good idea". I said, deciding I like this doctor.

"Well, you can fill it up now and I will personally take it to the lab and make sure you have the results today at 5pm. You're probably anxious enough, you don't need to be waiting a week for the results. Does that sound good for you?"

"Is it okay if a pick them up first thing tomorrow morning?" Peeta will be home by 4pm, I don't think I will be able to sneak out without him noticing.

"Of course. You don't have to come to my office. Your results will be at the front desk". She says standing up. "Well, Katniss, if that's all I can do for you, I have to get going. I have a surgery scheduled in twenty minutes."

I stand up, "Yes, thank you." I'm outside the office when I hear Dr. Murs call me.

"Katniss, if the results are positive make an appointment with me immediately. Okay?" She says holding my file with both hands.

"Of course, Dr., thank you." I say, turning on my heel.

It was the middle of the summer, which made the fact that I was shaking worse. On my walk home from the medical centre everything just sunk in. What _if_ I'm pregnant? What happens if this baby doesn't make it to term? What if the baby _does_ make it and I'm a terrible mother? I think I had a full panic attack by the time I got home. The moment I stepped into the kitchen, it got worse. Sitting there drawing was Peeta. He wasn't supposed to be home so early, it's not even 2pm. Suddenly I couldn't breathe.

He dropped whatever he was doing and ran towards me. I think I fainted, because the last thing I remember was Peeta looking down at me. Next thing I know, I'm waking up, hearing the voices of two people talking. I recognized the voices of Peeta and Dr. Murs.

"What happened to her?" Peeta says very desperately.

"I can't be sure until I talk to her, but I think she had a panic attack". Dr. Murs says.

"What do you mean a panic attack? From what?!" He asks confused.

I'm hoping Dr. Murs doesn't tell him the reason I went to see her. I'm not even sure if I'm pregnant and if I am, I want to be the one to tell him.

"She came to see me maybe 3 hours ago. But I can't discuss it with you, there's a confidentiality agreement between doctor and patient, Mr. Mellark." She said, with a tone that makes me think that she regretted telling him I went to see her.

"She came to see you? Is there something wrong with her?" I can hear genuine worry in his voice.

When Dr. Murs doesn't answer him, he just gets more frustrated.

"Tell me! I'm her husband! I demand to know!" Peeta says, screaming now.

"Peeta…" I call him with a hoarse voice.

I see him turn his head and walk towards me. "Hey, how are you feeling?" He says sitting next to me.

"I'm okay, just a little shaken up, that's all" I say holding his hand.

"What happened to you?" He asks softly. He searches my eyes.

"I..". I raise my gaze, looking for Dr. Murs, who is standing at the door. I look at her, hoping she understands what I want. I think she does, because she nods.

I take a deep breath and look at Peeta. I can feel the tears forming at the back of my eyes.

"I have been feeling weird lately, so I decided to come check what it was and… Peeta, I'm pregnant". I say, holding his hand.

He doesn't move, doesn't speak, I don't even think his breathing. For a moment, I stop to consider if I'm dreaming. Everything around me seems to just… stop. Even Dr. Murs' eyes are glued on Peeta. I'm considering slapping Peeta back to reality, but then, I see a tear falling down his cheek.

"Peeta?" I ask worried. Did he change his mind? Does he even want a baby anymore? I think I've started to panic, when he speaks.

"You're _pregnant_?", he said, shocked.

"Yeah, I just found out. Just now. I came here to be tested." –I'm crying now- "We did it. We're going to have a baby". I say, squeezing his hand.

"Oh my God, is this real? I can't believe it. A baby? We-", he suddenly stops. "Wait, Dr. Murs said that you had a panic attack. Katniss, are you having second thoughts?". I can hear the fear in his voice.

"No, of course not, is just that, Peeta, what if I'm not a good mother?" –I can see from the corner of eyes that Dr. Murs is backing away, giving us some privacy- "What if I fail this baby? I'm so scared." Now, I really start crying.

"Katniss, you're going to be an amazing mother. There's no doubt in my mind. I just need you to believe it. Okay?" he says, giving me a kiss on forehead.

I was discharged the next day. Dr. Murs told me to take it easy and to not exert myself too much, especially during the first trimester. The pregnancy went along great, medically speaking. The first time I felt her kick, I froze on my tracks. Everything just became so real at that moment. I had seen the ultrasounds, I had heard her heartbeat, I could see how a bump started to form and how it got bigger and bigger, but it wasn't until I felt her kick, that I just completely came to the realization that she was inside of me. In a few months she would be here, with Peeta and me. Healthy or sick, dead or alive, she would be here. Peeta was always there to put my mind at ease, though. It was hard at first. Those thoughts would come back and make me doubt myself again but, as time passed and nothing was going wrong, he didn't have to remind me constantly that everything would be just fine.

It was mid January when I felt it. A contraction. Everything just happened so fast. I could barely move at that point, I was so big. I was resting on my bed, I was beginning to drift off, when I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I had felt this before, but it wasn't as painful as that one. Dr. Murs told me a few weeks before that I should expect some contractions, but that I shouldn't worry. She told me that my body was "practicing" for the actual labor. But the contractions I felt that cold day in January were in no way "practice" contractions. I sat up, resting by back on the headboard and after it passed I went downstairs looking for Peeta. That day, there had been a blizzard, so Peeta couldn't open the bakery. In a way I was thankful, because he was there when the contractions hit, but at the same time, how was I going to get to the medical centre?

"Peeta?" I said standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hmm?" he said, making a list of what he needed to buy for the bakery.

"I think it's time". That's when I started shaking.

"Time for what?". He turned to look at me and that's when he saw me with my hands resting on my stomach and the look of horror I had on my face.

"What?!", he said throwing the notebook and pen on the floor.

It was almost comical how he reacted. He stood up, eyes wide open. Those big blue eyes that calm me when no one else can. He started pacing, as if deciding what to do. He looked at me and gave me a big smile and then ran towards the kitchen. I was nailed to the stairs, just looking at him. The terror I was feeling disappeared for a little while and a smile crept up on my face. He came back to the living room, breathing heavily.

"Okay, calm down, Katniss. Everything is going to be fine." he said while wrapping a scarf around his neck. "Calm down, babe."

"I am calmed down, Peeta". I say chuckling a little.

"You are? Okay, good. Come on then". He pulled me close to him and kissed me.

He started pulling me towards the door. He seemed to have forgotten there was a full on blizzard going on at that moment. I didn't say anything though. From seventeen years living with my mum, I know that I have some time to the actual labor. Peeta was acting so weird. But, it was relaxing and fun, the terror I was feeling had dissipated and I figured a little fun wouldn't kill me. He closed the door as fast as he had opened it.

"Damn! I completely forgot about the blizzard. What now?" he said, lowering my backpack.

"Maybe we should call my mum", I said, the shaking coming back now.

I had asked my mum a month ago if she would come to assist at Ivy's birth. I talked to Dr. Murs and asked her if mum could be at the delivery room, not as my mum but as an assistant. The centre's policy says that one family member can be at the delivery room with the expecting mother. She took some convincing but she agreed at the end. As everyone in that room had to sign a form, Dr. Murs thought that the centre would realize she was my mother because of our last name, but I told her I had changed my name to Everdeen-Mellark but that I could sign as Mellark as the centre made a mistake and had me filed as Katniss Mellark. But apparently, that plan went down the drain because of the weather. My mum was going to be the one delivering the baby.

Mum had arrived two weeks before I started feeling the contractions. She was staying at one of the houses at the Victor's Village. Thankfully, she was close, so I just gave her a call and told her that Peeta would be knocking at her front door at any moment and to be ready to deliver this baby. It took Peeta like fifteen minutes to come back with my mum, which was a ridiculous amount of time, considering she lives three houses down from us, but I guess the blizzard was to blame.

My mum came in with a suitcase, which she later told me was full of supplies. She then told me that she had a feeling she should bring them with her from District 4.

"Thank God, for that feeling", I said with a forced smile, trying to hide my terror.

It's no good though, she knows. She _is_ my mother after all.

"Hey, it's okay to be scared, Katniss. You don't always have to be the strong one, you know", she said, not dropping my gaze.

I know what she's talking about. After my father's death she disappeared in front of me, living Prim and me to starve. I know she couldn't help it, she was consumed by grief, but still it took me a long time to understand why I was the one taking care of her and Prim, and not the other way around. I don't know what would happen to me if something happened to Peeta, and I was left alone with the baby. By all means, I don't justify what she did but, I understand her now.

"I know, but I can't let the terror I'm feeling now consume me, mum" I said, feeling tears welling up on my eyes.

"Oh, Katniss, I would be worried if you weren't scared. You are going to be scared for the rest of your life, and that's normal. Everything your baby does will scare you. Do you know how scared I was when you would run into the woods alone? Even though I couldn't tell you because I was sick, I felt it. But, you will learn to handle that fear. I know it. I know you, you are going to be an excellent mother, Katniss." She said, crying.

In that moment, I felt the love I hadn't felt from her all those years ago when she was consumed by grief. I felt the love I wouldn't let her give me when I shut her out. I was grateful for my mother. Grateful she was here. Even though Prim and my dad weren't, I am grateful for my mother.

We both cried, for those who weren't here, for the one who would be here and for us.

"Let's deliver this baby", she said with a smile, letting me go.

I laugh, "Yeah, I'm ready to meet this baby", I said pointing at my belly.

Eleven hours later, I was holding her. She was breathtaking. Peeta was sitting next to me, a look of wonder on his face. As soon as I held her, I felt relieved.

"So you are the one who's been kicking, huh?, I said, touching her cheek with my thumb.

"Look at her. She's perfect, Katniss", Peeta said kissing my temple.

"Yeah, she is", I said in awe.

"Do you have a name for her?", mum asked looking at the baby.

"We didn't know what we were having until now, but for a girl we were between two names: Lily and Ivy.", Peeta said looking at my mum.

"The first time I went into the woods alone, I came across a pack of wild dogs, so I tried to climb a tree, but I couldn't because it was covered with poison ivy, so I climb the tree next to it."-I look at both Peeta and my mum- "While I was waiting for the pack of wild dogs to move, I just stared at the poison ivy and thought about what my dad told me about it once. That even though it could cause an allergic reaction to certain people, Ivy meant fidelity and eternity." I say, looking at my daughter again.

"Then Ivy it is", Peeta says proudly.

"Hello, Ivy. You like that? I think you do", I said, handing Ivy to Peeta, so I can hug my mother. She wasn't expecting it. We start crying all over again.

"I'm proud of you, Katniss." – she puts her hand on both sides of my cheeks- "you know you'll always be my baby, right?

"Yeah, I know", I said laughing.

It's been a little over three years since that day. I can't believe how much she's grown. I can't picture my life without her. She brings joy to my life and Peeta's. I would do anything for her.

"Good morning, beautiful", Peeta says, noticing the smile on my face. "Someone is happy this morning", he says with a sing song voice.

"I was just remembering the day this one was born", I say with the playful voice I talk to Ivy with.

"Oh yeah, that was a good day. An amazing day actually", he says pulling Ivy's hair out of her face.

Ivy starts waking up. She turns, so she's flat on her back. She rubs both her eyes and yawns looking at me.

"Good morning, mummy", she says, still sleepy.

"Good morning, bunny. How did you sleep?", I ask, putting my hand on top of her belly.

"I didn't have any nightmares", she says with a wide grin on her face. She then turns to Peeta. "Daddy, what can I do so I don't have nightmares anymore?", she asks curious.

"I don't know of a way, bunny. But we could try many things until we find the one that works for you. How does that sound?" Peeta says tickling her under her arm. She laughs.

"That sounds good, daddy. Maybe we could do the same for you, so you only have happy dreams.", she says looking at the both of us.

Sometimes she really surprises me. In moments like this, she doesn't sound like a three year old, she reminds of Prim sometimes. At first, it would hurt, but now is just a reminder of one of my little sister's best qualities, and that makes me happy.

"I think that's a great idea, Ivy.", I say kissing her cheek.

"Mummy, you look beautiful today", she says hugging me.

"What?" –I laugh- "Well, thank you, bunny. You don't look to bad yourself", I say laughing.

Ivy gets out of bed with some difficulty as the bed is still so tall for her and goes to the bathroom.

"Where did that come from?", I ask Peeta, kissing him good morning.

"Well, the kid is right. You _do_ look extra beautiful today.", he says holding my hand.

"Well, there's a reason for that I think." I say looking at him.

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?", he asks with a teasing tone.

With my forefinger I tell him to come closer, as if to tell him a secret. "I'm pregnant".


	3. The Lake

Chapter 3:

He pulls back immediately, in shock.

"We are having another baby?", he asks in a whisper.

"Yes, we are." I respond with a playful tone.

He pulls me closer to him until he's looking down at me. He kisses me and we stay like that until we hear Ivy coming.

"Do you want to tell her now?", he asks thrilled.

"I don't know. What do you think?", I ask not knowing how she is going to react.

"I think we should", he says kissing me once again.

"Bunny, come here. We have news for you." I say, helping her get on the bed again.

"Okay. What is it?", she says looking for her bunny under the covers.

"Come here, baby", Peeta says pulling her up the bed and handing her the stuffed bunny that was on the floor.

"Okay, in six months we are going to welcome someone to our family, bunny", I say to her.

"Six months, huh?", Peeta says with a glint in his eyes. I give him a look.

"Is someone coming to visit?", she asks fixing her bunny's tie.

"No, bunny. You are going to be a big sister.", Peeta tells her. She stops fixing the tie and goes quiet.

At first, I'm scared, because I don't know how she is going to react. She is three years old and jealousy can be an issue. She starts crawling towards the foot of the bed, but stops near my stomach and turns, looking at me.

"There's a baby here?", she asks pointing at my stomach.

"Yes, bunny. You are going to have a little brother or sister". I say, the nervousness leaving my body at her curiosity.

Suddenly, she stands up on the bed and starts jumping and singing, "I'm going to be a big sister". I'm so relieved, that I pick her up and start spinning her around and kissing that tummy of hers. She squeals with happiness, and then I hand her to Peeta who starts to tickle her.

"You are very excited, aren't you?", stopping, so Ivy can catch her breath.

"Yes, I am!", she says sitting back on the bed.

Suddenly, the happiness leaves her face. I don't know the reason. So I ask.

"What's wrong, Ivy?", I ask sitting next to her.

"Are you and daddy going to love me less?", she says looking at me.

"Of course not, bunny! If anything, we are going to love you even more now because there's going to be two of you, and we are going to have a lot more love to give", I say trying to cheer her up.

"And, you're always going to be my bunny, nobody is going to take that from you. I promise", Peeta says holding her stuffed bunny and putting its ears down.

This seems to calm her down. She stands up on the bed and jumps into Peeta's arms.

"I love you, daddy", she says hugging him tight.

"I love you too, bunny", he says giving her back her stuffed bunny.

"Now, I'm hungry. I don't know about you guys but, I'm going to go make some chocolate chip pancakes.", I say walking towards the door.

"Mummy, wait for me! I want some pancakes too!", Ivy says letting go of Peeta's arms.

"Okay, come on then.", I say stretching my hand out to her. "Are you coming, _daddy_?", I say playfully.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world", he says with the widest smile.

Normally, Haymitch stumbles to the kitchen around this time. But, he realized that Sundays are the only days Peeta can have breakfast with Ivy and me as a family so, he decided not to come Sundays and I'm grateful for that. He has another six days to make inappropriate comments and fight with me.

"So, what do you guys want to do today?", Peeta asks while spreading butter on his toast.

"I was thinking maybe go to the lake? I want to go while I can." I say eating my chocolate chip pancakes.

"Yes, daddy! Let's go to the lake!", Ivy says raising her arms above her head.

"Umm, I don't know. I don't think you should exert yourself too much, Katniss." Peeta says putting his toast down.

"Well, we don't have to run to the lake. We could walk as if we had all the time in the world. We could leave now and be back at mid afternoon. What do you say?" I say pouting.

"Mmm, Ivy?" -Peeta turns her way- "Can you help me make a delicious lunch for all of us to have on the lake?" he says smiling.

"Of course, daddy!" she says with the widest smile.

"We better finish breakfast then, so we can go get ready" I say finishing my chocolate chip pancake.

Ivy finishes her breakfast a little while after. She knows the drill for a "lake day", as we like to call it. Finish breakfast, brush your teeth, pack a back with your swimsuit, towel and extra clothes and wait for mum or dad to help you dress.

"Thank you" I say sitting on Peeta's lap and kissing him.

"_You_ are welcome." He says kissing me back. "You're right. You should enjoy it while you can. While _we_ can." He says correcting himself.

"Oh, you can still go with Ivy when I can no longer see my toes" I say laughing, my arms around Peeta's neck.

"Nah, it wouldn't be the same. We can find some other thing to do as a family. The lake won't go anywhere." He says pressing his forehead to the side of my neck.

"Mummy!" we hear Ivy calling.

"I'm coming, bunny!" –I stand up from Peeta's lap- "Don't do anything complicated for lunch, I want to leave as soon as possible, okay?" I say still holding his hand.

"Do you feel like eating some sandwiches and cupcakes for dessert? I brought them from the bakery yesterday." He says standing up from the table and pulling me closer.

"That sounds perfect." I say wrapping my arms around his neck one more time and kissing him.

"Mummy!" Ivy calls once again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I say turning my head towards Ivy's direction. "Don't forget to pack bottles of water too", I kiss him one last time and break away from his embrace.

When I get to Ivy's room, a substantial amount of clothes is laid down on her bed.

"Ivy, what's this?" I say walking towards her bed.

"I couldn't decide what to wear." She says seriously.

She's developed this fascination with clothes. What matches, what doesn't match, what's appropriate for a specific situation. I honestly don't have any idea from who she takes after sometimes.

"Ivy, we are going to the lake. Wear something comfortable and easy to take off and put back on again. Remember you are going to be swimming. You are only going to use your clothes for the trip to the lake and back, other than that you're going to be in your swimsuit, okay?" I say trying to suppress a smile.

She sighs, "Okay. So simple and comfy, then?" she asks with a frown.

Now, I laugh a little. "Yes, bunny. Simple and comfy. Come on, let's get ready. You can fix this mess when we get back." I say picking her up, so she's standing on the bed.

"I want to wear the red pants, white t-shirt and the dark blue swimsuit, mummy." She says matter-of-factly.

"Nice choice, bunny" I say picking the clothes she chose. I think when she's older she is going to end up telling me what to wear.

"Okay, we are all done. Can you please bring a hairband so I can tie your hair up in a ponytail?" I ask Ivy, so I can fix her hair cause it's all messed up.

"Yep" she says jumping out of the bed. I hate it when she does that. I fear she is going to land on her face someday.

"Ivy, I've told you not to do that. You could get hurt." I say with a reproachful tone.

"Sorry, mummy" she says stopping at the threshold of the bathroom door.

"Here." She says handing me the hairband.

I tie her hair in a ponytail, which I love because it brings out those big blue eyes she has. The exact same as Peeta's, but that messed up hair, is exactly like mine.

"Okay, you're ready to go. Go see if daddy needs help finishing lunch while I go get ready." I say handing her the backpack with her things.

I go to my bedroom and pack a back with Peeta's clothes and mine. I throw on black pants, a grey t-shirt and my father's hunting jacket. One of my prized possessions, which thankfully has managed to make it after all these years. Today is a happy day. When I woke up this morning, I felt like the happiest person in the world. I've woken up happy before, but nothing like today. Then, I remember. Today is the third day of spring, my dad's favorite day. He would always tell me that in this day, the meadow would show its entire splendor and that everything in here would bring peace to oneself and of course, food and remedies, both to the heart and to the body.

I walk down the stairs to the kitchen to see everything is packed and ready to go. I put the backpack next to the table and go to the foot of the stairs to call Peeta and Ivy.

"I'm ready. What are you guys doing? Come on!", I say putting my hair in a braid.

"Just a second! Ivy wanted to get some of her toys to play with in the lake!", Peeta screams from the hallway.

"Okay, but make sure everything fits in her backpack, nothing heavy!" I say going back to the kitchen to put my backpack and grab the bags with the food and water.

"Alright, let's go!" Peeta says giving a kiss. "Oh, I'll take that", he says taking the backpack from me and leaving me with the bags.

It takes us around thirty minutes to get there. It is not exactly a short trip from the Victor's Village but, at three years old, Ivy can handle it, which surprises me. She's turned out to be very athletic. So, we make this trip once or twice a month, if the weather allows us.

When we get there, we lay down three blankets, one is to put the food on and the other two is for Peeta and me to use. Ivy normally alternates blanket with Peeta and me. We take our clothes off to go into the lake.

"Hurry up, mummy!", Ivy says jumping up and down. She recently learned how to swim and even though she can keep herself afloat, I don't let her go in alone yet.

"Okay, okay. Come on." I say holding her hand.

We are walking towards the lake and we get to the border of it, and as always, Ivy stops to touch the water with her toes to see if it's cold. She does exactly as always and then, she lets go of my hand and backs up and sits down with her knees to her chest. I'm confused, I look up at Peeta and see he is confused too; he looks at me and shrugs. I'm walking towards Ivy to ask her what's wrong, when it dawns on me. Her nightmare. She had forgotten about it and now she remembers it.

"I don't want to go in anymore", she says looking directly at the lake. I hear Peeta coming towards us.

"Ivy, what did daddy and I tell you about nightmares?", I say rubbing her back.

"That they are not real.", she says, her eyes still glued to the lake.

"Exactly. You know how you are going to stop being scared of that nightmare, bunny?", Peeta says nudging her softly with his shoulder.

"How?", Ivy asks looking at Peeta now.

"By getting in the lake. You see, if you get in the lake, with mummy and me right next to you, you'll realize that there's nothing to be scared of because we are going to be right next to you the whole time." Peeta says with a smile.

"You want to give it a try?" I say putting my hand right next to her knee, to see if she'll take it. And she does. "Okay. Peeta, we have a very brave daughter". I say to reassure her.

"Of course we do. Bunnies aren't scared of water.", he says standing up.

We walk to the lake again. This time, Ivy is holding my left hand and Peeta's right one. She stops for a second and then gets in. She doesn't go under the water and I choose not to tell her to do so, because it would be too much as her nightmare. So instead, I show her. She has her arms around Peeta's neck and mine, so I let go and disappear under the water.

"Where did mummy go?" I hear Peeta say.

I come back up again. "Oh my God, the water is so delicious. Peeta, you should go under the water too." I say trying to encourage her, without actually saying anything.

"Oh yeah, I think I most certainly will.", he says handing me Ivy over.

When Peeta comes back up, Ivy puts her arm around both our necks again and directs her gaze under the water. She looks at me and presses her forehead against my cheek. It's so sudden, that I almost start crying, I think this is the first time I've had a moment like this with her. I guess I will never find out what she is really thinking but, I think she realized that I would never leave her. She then looks at Peeta.

"Together?", Ivy says squeezing my shoulder.

"Together", Peeta says pressing his forehead on hers. "On three. One, two, three". We all go under the water for maybe four seconds. When we come back up, we hug each other. Ivy is in the middle, our heads are all touching as we lean forward a little and we all start crying. Nobody speaks, nobody moves, we just embrace each other.

Ivy looks up and looks where our blankets are. "Can we eat? I'm hungry.", lighting up the mood. Peeta and I laugh.

"Then, let's go eat", I say wiping the tears on my face.

And just like that, we went from happy to sad to happy again. It was a wonderful day. On our way back, Ivy asked me to pick her up. Peeta grabbed Ivy's backpack and I picked her up. When we got home, I realized she had fallen asleep. Peeta accompanies me to her bedroom. I put her on her bed and let her sleep. It's around 5:30pm, so I figure she'll be up for dinner. We stay there for a moment, just looking at her.

"She's perfect", I say in a whisper, folding my arms.

"Yeah. Sometimes I have to ask myself if this is real. Not because it is shiny or anything, but because it's so perfect", he says putting his head on my shoulder and wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Really? Me too, and I am _so_ glad it is real." I say turning my head to see Peeta. "And it's about to get better", I say rubbing my belly.

"Thank you, for giving me this. I couldn't imaging living a life without you two in it. Or you three, I guess.", he says laughing.

"I love you, Peeta, and everything you have given me" I say turning around and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I love you too, and everything I am today and everything I have is because of you, so thank _you_.", he says kissing me.

"Real, all of this is real." I smile, simply because I can. "Come on, I want to drink something hot, I'm a bit cold.

"Sure, come on", he says leaving Ivy's door slightly open, just in case she needs us.


	4. She Says It's a Boy

Chapter 4:

I'm seven months pregnant today. Time goes by so fast. Sometimes I wish I could just stop time for a little while and really enjoy everything I have today. I see Ivy growing up into this little person and I can't believe she is almost four. I can see already she's going to be a great big sister. From the moment my bump was visible, Ivy would kiss it and have hour-long conversations with her little brother or sister. She would press her ear against my belly waiting for an answer when she would ask it something. It is so adorable to look at. One Saturday afternoon, while we were eating some cookies Peeta had brought from the bakery, she stopped eating and looked at us.

"I'm going to have a little brother you know", she said matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah? How do you know, bunny?", Peeta asked Ivy while giving me a quick look.

"He told me. I was talking to him, mummy had fallen asleep, and I asked the baby if it was a boy or a girl, and he said he was a boy", she said very seriously.

"Oh, and you are 100% sure he said he was a boy?", I ask playing along.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I just wanted to make sure if it was a girl that she wouldn't steal my toys", Ivy said finishing her cookie.

Peeta and I both laughed. It is unbelievable the imagination kids have. I try to remember as far back as possible and try to see if I had that kind of imagination. I got nothing. The only thing I remember was thinking that at night fairies would come out of their hiding place in the woods and play around and that morning dew was remaining droplets of magic they had left.

That happened a month ago.

Ivy has been going on and on that we are having a boy and telling everyone she knows, which is a ridiculous amount of people for a 3 year old, I guess she is like her father that way. The thing is, Peeta and I have been having people congratulating us for having a boy and that having one of each is going to be quite a handful. I'm sure either if it's a boy or a girl, it is still going to be a handful, but a handful I'm willing to have.

I'm in the kitchen making Ivy and myself some hot cocoa, when the phone rings. I turn off the stove and push back the pan to the furthest burner as Ivy gets curious sometimes and wants to take a look, and the pan is very hot right now. Better prevent than regret. I go to the couch and sit on my legs, which is a comfortable position, don't know why.

"Hello?" I say looking towards the stairs hearing little footsteps approaching.

"Hello, Katniss. It's mum", she says quite happily.

"Oh, hi mum. I haven't heard from you for a while. How are you?, I say, grateful our relationship has gotten better in time.

"I'm good. I just got promoted to head of the nurse department. I was in shock when they offered the position to me", she says with such happiness in her voice.

"Mum, that's amazing! Congratulations", I say proud of her.

"Yes, it is amazing. Actually, I was calling to congratulate _you_. A little bunny told me you and Peeta are having a boy", she says ecstatic.

"She what?", oh my God, now she's calling people too? "Mum? Can you wait for me just a second?", I say looking towards the stairs.

"Umm, yes. Katniss is everything okay?", she says now a bit worried.

"Don't worry, just a second", I say putting the phone down. Not moving from where I am, I tilt my head slightly to the right looking for those big blue eyes.

"Ivy, come here", I say a bit menacingly. It's comical the way she approaches the stairs. With her hands behind her back, head down and drawing horizontal lines with her right foot. "Come down, please", I say very seriously. Mum must be laughing on the other side of the line.

"Yes, mummy?", she says standing on the last step of the stairs.

"I said come here, not the last step of the stairs", I said pointing down with my forefinger to the spot right in front of me.

She sighs, "Okay", she says looking up momentarily and then dropping her gaze again.

I grab the phone again and put it to my ear.

"Mum? Are you still there?", I say looking at Ivy, who's looking at her feet. So, I smile now before she sees me and know I'm not mad for real.

"Yes, I'm still here. She got herself in a pickle, didn't she?", she says laughing.

"Mmhh. I'm going to put you on speaker phone, okay?", I say wiping that smile from my face now. "First, say hello to your grandma", I say pointing at the phone.

"Hello, grandma. How are you?", she says knowing she's in trouble.

"Hello, beautiful. I'm great, how are you?", she says as if suppressing a smile.

"Right now?", she says looking at me. She's hilarious and she doesn't even know it, so she just says what she thinks. I have a feeling that funny personality is going to cause loud discussions between us when she's a teenager.

I raise an eyebrow at her, trying with all my might not to smile.

"Did you call grandma and told her you were having a baby brother?", I say while lifting her chin, so she looks me right in the eye.

"Umm, maybe?", she says looking anywhere but my eyes.

This time, my voice is much more harsh.

"That's not an answer, Ivy. Yes or no?", I say folding my arms on top of my belly.

"Yes, I did call grandma. I'm sorry, mummy", she says pouting a little.

"Ivy, it's okay to think you are having a baby brother, but it's not okay to go around telling people without being sure. Many people have gotten us gifts, gifts that maybe I have to give back", I say a little less harsh now.

"But, I am sure. He told me. Why would he lie to me?", she asks with doubt.

Now, I'm the one in a pickle. How the hell do I tell her that she couldn't have possibly heard her brother or sister talk, because they can't talk and that it is less possible for her to hear him or her. Considering I go quiet for a few seconds, my mum seems to sense my dilemma and helps me out. Thank God.

"Ivy, sometimes you may think to be very sure about something, sometimes you may believe it with all your heart to be true, but it's best if you don't go around telling people because if you're wrong then people won't know when to believe you or not when you tell them things, okay?", she says very calm.

"Okay, grandma. So I shouldn't tell anyone anything if I'm not completely sure?", Ivy says looking at me now.

"Exactly, bunny", I say allowing a small smile to form on my lips.

"I'm sorry, mummy. I promise I won't do it again", she says looking down.

"Hey, it's okay, you didn't know. But now that you _do_ know, I'm hoping you'll know better, alright?, I say opening my arms for a hug.

She closes the space between us and hugs me. "Alright", she says burring her face on my hair.

"Oh, Katniss. I almost forgot. When is the baby due again?", mum asks while Ivy rests her head on my lap.

"Dr. Murs told us December 24th. It would be the best Christmas present ever, wouldn't it?", I say stroking Ivy's hair.

"It would indeed. Now that I'm head of the nurse department, my schedule is a lot more flexible. Do you want me there?", she asks a bit shyly.

"Of course, mum! Although this time, I don't think you'll be the one delivering the baby. Unless, of course, there's another blizzard", I say laughing, remembering that day.

"Oh, I don't think I'll be the one delivering this baby either. Unlike with Ivy's birth, I don't have a hunch telling me to bring my supplies with me this time", she says chuckling a little.

"Yeah, and it will be great. You could spend Christmas with us. Bunny here has never spent that holiday with you", I say tickling her a little.

"Yes, grandma. Come spend Christmas with me, please", she says sitting next to me and resting her head on my shoulder now.

"Who could resist that voice? Okay, I'll spend Christmas with you. I'll be arriving two weeks before. I don't want to miss my grandson's birth. Or granddaughter's", she says correcting herself.

"She has got you convinced, huh?", I say looking at Ivy.

"Well, she can be very persuasive", she says laughing.

"Oh, that's what I'm afraid of. I don't know what she'll convince me to do one day. Well mum, have to go. Bunny and I have some hot cocoa waiting for us." I say resting my hand on Ivy's head.

"By all means go enjoy your hot cocoa. I'll be talking to you later. Take care. I love you, bye", she says happily.

"Okay, I love you too. Take care, mum", I say standing up.

"I love you, grandma!", Ivy says standing up to run to the kitchen.

I hang up the phone and walk towards the kitchen with Ivy desperate for her hot cocoa with cream. I turn on the stove again, warm the hot cocoa and enjoy the delicious dark liquid with my daughter. Peeta arrives an hour later carrying bags.

"What's this?", I ask a little surprised.

"Presents for our son. People seem to be very excited for us. I don't if it's because Ivy was the one telling them or because our happiness is so contagious", he says laughing.

I walk towards Peeta to help him out with some of the bags.

"My mum called to congratulate us on having a son", I say putting the bags on the kitchen table.

"She called your mother? How does she even now what number to dial?", he asks surprised.

"Oh, that didn't even cross my mind. Well, the thing is that with the help of my mum, I was able to tell her that telling everyone she knows that we're having a son is not okay unless you're 100% sure. My mum was quite convincing actually, Ivy understood immediately what she did wrong", I say walking towards him now.

He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me hello. Then we walk towards the living room, hand in hand, to open some of the gifts people gave us.

"Where's Ivy? I don't think we should open them. If she sees us then she might think that we're confirming she's having a little brother", he says looking at me.

"Don't worry, after the hot cocoa we had, I took her to her room and she fell asleep. Maybe half an hour ago, she won't be up for at least another hour and a half", I say opening one of the bags.

"Oh my God, you guys had hot cocoa without me?", he acts all offended.

"Shut up and open the gifts", I say punching him softly on the shoulder.

"Okay. Let's see." –he opens one of the bags- "Oh, a light blue pacifier. This will come handy for a boy or a girl. We should write down the names of the people who gave us gifts we're definitely keeping, so we can thank them", he says looking at me.

"Yeah, absolutely. Let's see this one" –I grab one of the bags near my foot- "Ohh, look at this onesie, it has bread and cookies on it", I say holding it in front of me to take a better look at it.

In that moment, I realized the scene I was part of. Before the rebellion and even after, I never thought I would be married, with a daughter and another baby on the way. I am happy. A feeling I thought would never make a reappearance in my life after Prim's unnecessary death. I never thought I would end up doing something so mundane as looking at baby clothes with my husband. I don't know what happened for me to get this life, but I'm grateful for it. Peeta notices I've gone somewhere else.

"Katniss, are you okay?", he asks putting his hand on my knee.

"Yes, I just… this is not what I wanted. I never wanted to get married, I never wanted to have kids. Nothing went according to plan", I say looking deep in those big blue eyes. He looks confused and a little scared, he's about to talk but I cut him of.

"Don't get me wrong, I love the life I have now. What I meant was, I'm glad whatever force is out there decided that my plan I was crap and gave me exactly what I thought I did not want", I say holding his chin and pulling him closer to me for a kiss.

"Well, I'm also glad your crappy plan never came to be", he says closing the space between us again.

I laugh and hug him. We stay like that for maybe half an hour. Then, we realize that it is almost dinnertime and Ivy is going to be up any moment now. We move all the bags to Peeta's studio and accommodate them on the closet. On our way back, we see Ivy coming down the stairs with a sleepy face. Peeta goes to the stairs and picks her up.

"Hello, bunny. How was your nap?" he asks coming down the stairs.

"Good. I had a dream about my little brother", she said suddenly lighting up.

"Really? What was it about?", Peeta asks her walking towards the kitchen.

"I don't remember too much. I just remember him telling me his name was Cole", she says looking at me not knowing if it's wrong for her to be talking about it.

"Cole? That's a nice name", I say thinking that _is_ a nice name.

"It is a nice name. Katniss, we still have to decide on names. What do you think in trying to choose a few names during dinner? With bunny here to helps us out, I'm sure we'll find a good name for the baby", he says putting Ivy on her chair.

"Oh, I think that is a great idea", I say setting the table up.

We had leftovers for dinner like every Monday. We reheat everything in our fridge and have a small banquet. The first half of the dinner no one speaks, we were just starving. After we have enough in our stomachs for them to stop growling, Peeta proposes to start with the names for a girl.

"I like Willow", I say pouring more asparagus soup on my plate.

"Yeah, I like Willow too, but I also like Lily", Peeta says eating the last of his mashed potatoes.

"What name do you like, bunny?", I say looking at Ivy, who is very pensive.

"Mmm, I don't know. Maybe Violet? Like the ones we picked up from the lake, the last time we where there", she says drinking her milk.

"That's a pretty name", Peeta says given her a smile.

"I like those three names: Willow, Lily and Violet. What do you say Peeta?", I say excited.

"I love them. Now for the _boys_. Why don't you start, Ivy?", he says looking at her.

"In my dream, he told me he was Cole. I like that name", Ivy says confident in her choice.

"Okay, I like Patrick and Matthew", I say cheerful.

"Me? I like Chris and Thomas", he says thoughtful.

"That makes a total of five names. I guess if we have a boy, we will know when we see him, same if it's a girl, won't know until we see her", I say standing up to was the dishes.

"Let me do that. I can tell your feet hurt by the way you walk. Go upstairs and lay down. I'll be there soon", Peeta says giving me a wink.

I don't reject his offer. My feet are indeed, killing me. I am getting more tired faster these days, I guess I better get my sleep now. I have two more months to sleep through the night before this baby comes.

"Thank you, come on Ivy. Let's get ready for bed". I say waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

When we get to Ivy's room, I help her get into her pajamas and watch her while she brushes her teeth, she can't get it down yet, and then I tug her on her bed. I sit next to her and ask what I always ask.

"Okay, bunny. Do you want a goodnight kiss and a song or just a goodnight kiss?", I say putting her stuffed bunny next to her.

"Song and goodnight kiss", she says hugging her bunny.

"Okay", I say giving her a smile.

"_Down in the valley, the valley so low_

_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow_

_Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;_

_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow._

_Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,_

_Angels in Heaven know I love you,_

_Know I love you, dear, know I love you,_

_Angels in Heaven know I love you"_

I give Ivy her goodnight kiss and walk towards the door, but she stops me.

"Mummy?", she says sleepy.

"Yes, bunny?", I say turning towards her.

"I love you", she says smiling.

The biggest smile appears on my face. "I love you too, bunny. Goodnight", I say leaving her room.

I go to my room and see Peeta is already there. I sit on the bed and start changing to my pajamas, when I feel his lips touch my back. I let out a moan. I turn around and kiss him. _My pajamas can wait_, I think.


	5. Author's Note

**Hello readers,**

**First and foremost, I want to thank you for reading my fanfic. This is the first time I have ever written anything like this. I have to admit, I used to be the kind of person who would criticize people who were so obsessed with a book and kept talking about them all day long. Now look at me, I'm the newest member of the group. I hope you like what you are reading and thank you to the people who have added me to their story alerts. **

**I am currently trying to untangle a few ideas I have in my head and trying to make sense of them. I want to make sure the transition from chapter to chapter goes as smoothly as possible. I will be posting chapter 5 hopefully by Sunday, or maybe before. After that, I should let you know, that there would probably be one chapter uploaded per week, as my mid term week is almost over and normal classes will resume. **

**Thank you again for reading.**

**Regards,**

**MP94**


	6. Just You and I

Chapter 5:

During the first two months of my pregnancy, when I didn't even know I was pregnant, the nightmares were rough. It started as one petrifying nightmare, and then it escalated to having four or five a week. Once I was on my second trimester the nightmares changed to weird dreams, not necessary happy ones, sometimes they were just confusing, but at least they would let me drift off again. Now, at eight and a half months pregnant, the nightmares are back. Normally, I just wake up from my nightmares, screaming and thrashing. But tonight, I'm having a nightmare and I'm aware of it, but I can't bring myself to wake up.

I must've been screaming and thrashing, because when I wake up, Peeta is shaking me, with eyes wide open, filled with concern.

"It's okay. It's over now, Katniss. It's over", he says hugging me close to his chest.

I'm crying really badly. I haven't cried like this because of a nightmare in months. I hate feeling like this, but unfortunately it's not a foreign feeling.

"Peeta, it was horrible", I say crying.

"You want to tell what it was about?", he says rocking me slightly.

"We were in the hospital and I was in labor, I was ready to push. When Dr. Murs said it was time, I started pushing. After a little while, the baby was out, but he wasn't crying. I started asking about him, but no one would tell me anything about him", I start shaking and Peeta strengthens his hold on me.

"It's okay, Katniss", Peeta says soothingly.

"No, Peeta. Our baby was dead. I tried to wake up and I couldn't. For a moment, I thought it was really happening", I say breaking from his embrace, sitting up and pressing my back to the headboard.

"Hey, it was a nightmare. It wasn't real. Our baby is okay", he says sitting close to me.

"I know", I say resting my hands on my huge belly. I take Peeta's hand and place it on the spot our baby is kicking right now.

A wide grin appears on his face. "See? Our baby here it's telling you it's okay", he says looking at me.

I sigh closing my eyes for a little bit, trying to stabilize my heartbeat. Once I've calmed down, I open my eyes again.

"Peeta?", I say turning my head towards him.

"Yes?", he says meeting my gaze.

"What if something goes wrong?", I say looking into those big blue eyes.

"Just remember how you felt before Ivy's birth. You asked me the same thing and what did I tell you?", he says as if talking to Ivy.

"You said it was natural for me to feel like that and that you too felt that way. But, that we should be asking ourselves what colour her eyes were going to turn out to be", I say feeling calmer.

"Exactly. Look, I can't promise you everything will be okay, 'cause I don't know that. But I can promise you that I'm not going to let anything happen to this baby or Ivy. I mean, look at her, she's a happy three year old; almost four now and she's perfect", he says putting his chin on my shoulder and kissing it.

"You're right. It was just a nightmare", I'm so glad he's here to ease my fears.

He gives me a light kiss on the lips and presses his forehead against mine.

"I love you. Let's try and sleep, okay?", he says giving me a reassuring smile.

"Okay. I love you too", and with that, we go to sleep.

The next morning, I wake up expecting Peeta to be right next to me, but then I remember is Thursday and his at the bakery. Instead, I see Ivy sleeping on Peeta's spot and I smile. I realize there's a note stuck on the headboard.

_Didn't want to leave you alone, so I thought the company of a bunny would be comforting._

_See you later_

_Love you, _

_Peeta_

Judging by the sun it must be around nine in the morning. I don't go hunting anymore because I get tired too quickly, if not I would've been up four hours ago. From my spot on the bed, I shake Ivy slightly by the shoulder.

"Bunny, wake up", I say softly.

She moves and turns her body towards me, but her eyes are still closed. She puts her thumb in her mouth, which brings a smile to my face. I move close to her, so my face is right in front of her.

"Bunny, it's time to wake up", I say shaking her again.

She pulls her thumb out of her mouth and puts her hand on my belly, and opens her eyes, her enormous big blue eyes.

"Hey. Did you have a goodnight sleep?", I say not leaving my eyes from her.

"Yes, I dreamt about the baby again. It was a boy in this dream too", she says rubbing my belly.

In my nightmare, the baby was a boy too.

"You know, last night I had a bad dream, but in that scary dream the baby was a boy too", I say remembering last night.

"I know, I heard you, but it wasn't real. You told me, remember?", she says, her hand not leaving my belly.

I shake my head slightly. There it is again, speaking like grown up. Right now, she just gave me this feeling of security. Everything is going to be okay.

"I did tell you that. But, it was a really scary dream", I say putting my hand on top of hers.

She looks at me, and smiles.

"I think that the scary dreams are only scary if you let them be. Daddy told me our brains play tricks on us, so you decide if you get tricked or not. Right?", she asks with doubt.

My daughter talks beyond her years. Just like Prim. I start crying now.

"You're right. I'm not going to let my brain trick me", I say, hugging her. "I'm starting to think you're right, Ivy. I think it's a boy too", I say wiping the tears off my face.

"We'll know soon, right?", she says happily.

"Yes, we'll know soon. In about two weeks", I say calmer now.

It might be nine in the morning, but when I ask her if she's hungry she says not yet, and I'm not really hungry either, so we decide to stay in bed until we get hungry. Lately, I've been cherishing this moments with her. I don't know why I feel somewhat guilty at the notion of her not being alone anymore. It's a weird feeling, like I'm not going to able to take care of her, just like now, because all my attention is going to be drawn towards the baby. Which is most definitely going to happen. I don't want her to feel left out or replaced even. I haven't even talked to Peeta about this. But for these last two weeks, she'll be the centre of my world.

We stay in bed for maybe an hour longer. We talk about hunting. I'm surprised she even brought it up. She asks why do I like hunting so much. I tell her that my dad, her grandfather, taught me. Not for fun, but to survive. I tell her that growing up, I wasn't as lucky as she was, to have parents who could afford food. I explain to her, that the only way to get food in our bellies was by going into the woods and hunting. I tell her that now, I do it because it calms me and because it reminds me of my father. Ivy then asks me something I was hoping someday she would ask me without me persuading her.

"Mummy, could you teach me?", she asks expectantly.

"Of course I can teach you. After the baby is born, I promise I will teach everything I know. How does that sound?", I say holding her chin.

"Yes! Thank you, mummy!", Ivy says excited.

I laugh. I hope she stays this excited. I know that once she actually sees how hunting works, she'll probably get a little scared. I know I did. Hopefully, she'll understand that I don't hunt for fun, but to survive. I hunt to keep my sanity and my family alive. Although the latter is a choice and not an obligation, like it once used to be. Buying meat from the butcher seems like a waste of money when I can get it myself.

We decide to have a small breakfast, as we are a couple of hours away from lunch. We have a glass of milk and scramble eggs with ham. She helps me do the dishes, which for her is just passing me the dishes that are on the table, so I can clean them and then putting them back on the table after I have dried them. Peeta and I are teaching her to be helpful with house chores and so far, so great.

An hour and a half later, we are aback on the kitchen preparing to make lunch. I bought some meat at the butcher last week, so we decide to cook something with meat. After, ten minutes of discussing what we would prepare for lunch, we decide that we are having grilled meat accompanied with mashed potatoes and broccoli. In order to make sure she eats everything she's supposed to eat, Peeta and I told her that every thing she eats has to have at least three colours. So in today's case, we're having brown with the meat, yellow with the mashed potatoes and green with the broccoli. We always make sure there are vegetables in her meals.

We eat lunch not too long after that. We clean and head upstairs to brush our teeth. Then, we go to the living room and she starts completing the colouring book Peeta got her. She loves that. Peeta has to buy her one every other week. I sit down on the couch and pick up the phone to call mum.

The phone rings twice before she answers.

"Hello?", mum says.

"Hi, mum. It's Katniss", I say looking how Ivy colours.

"Hello, sweetie. How are you?", she asks happily.

"About to pop, but great", I say laughing.

"Oh well, that's how you're supposed to feel", she says softly.

"I was just calling to confirm when you get here. I want to have everything ready", I say scratching my cheek.

"I'll be arriving in three days. I'm so excited to see you, Peeta and Ivy", she says gladly.

"We are anxious to see you too, mum", I say laughing a little.

I can hear some kind of siren at the other end of the line.

"Oh sorry, Katniss I have to go. I'm needed in the emergency room. See you in three days. Love you, bye", she says in a hurry.

"Okay, love you too, bye", I say hanging up the phone.

"When is grandma coming?", Ivy asks looking up from her colouring book.

"She's coming in three days, bunny", I say rubbing my belly. Lately the baby's been kicking like crazy.

"Yey! I've missed her a lot", she says closing her colouring book and sitting next to me.

"I know. I've missed her too", I say looking at her. "So, what do you want to do now?", I say wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

"Mmmm, can we just lit up the fire and talk?", she says making a puppy dog face.

"Perfect, help me lit up the fire?", I say thankful that she doesn't want to play hide and seek or anything that's too physical. I don't have the energy.

"Yeah", she says handing me the matches. She knows she is forbidden to get too close to fire without adult supervision.

I lit up the fire and we sit on the couch, looking at it. I don't know what is it about the crackling of the fire that just seems to relax us. Ivy lays her head on my lap and I start stroking her hair. I don't say anything. I just wait for her to talk, if she wants to. I'm just fine the way we are right now. We are quiet for maybe twenty minutes, when then she speaks.

"Mummy, can you tell me about the day I was born?", she asks looking at me.

I look down at her and smile at her curiosity.

"The day you were born, huh, nothing went according to plan. You weren't born in the hospital", I say smiling.

"Where then?" she asks. This is the first time she's heard of this.

"You were born here, bunny. In me and daddy's bedroom. You see, it was snowing really badly that day, so we couldn't get to the hospital. So grandma, was the one who was here to deliver you", I say looking at her.

A look of amusement is registered on her face.

"Did I cry?", she asks curiously.

"Yes, you did cry. But that's a good sign. It means the baby is okay", I say poking her belly.

"So, when we're at the hospital, the baby should cry a lot", she says making invisible drawings on my belly.

"Yes, but then the baby will stop crying and probably be hungry. Just like you were after you were born", I say.

"Okay, can I go to the hospital to meet the baby?", Ivy says.

"Of course, bunny. You'll probably be with grandma. You can go visit the baby and me with her", I say matter-of-factly.

"Good. Mummy, can you sing the meadow song?", she asks softly.

"Sure, bunny. Can you help me sing it?", I ask, curious because I have never heard her sing before. She nods.

"_Deep in the meadow_

_under the willow_

_a bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_lay down your head and close your sleepy eyes_

_and when again they open, the sun will rise._

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true _

_Here is the place, where I love you_"

I am pleasantly surprised. There's a nice tone to her voice, she even hit a couple of notes there. She might have Peeta's eyes and friendly personality, but her hair and now her voice, she gets from me. We don't speak a word after singing. Before I know it, Peeta is waking me up. Ivy and I fell asleep on the couch. Peeta was holding her and I was afraid to move because of the position I was in. I'm praying my back hasn't snapped in two. Thankfully, when I stand up, I barely feel a thing.

"Come on, let's go to bed. I could use a little nap too", Peeta says kissing me on the lips.

"Okay, let's go", I say looking at Ivy.

We go up the stairs, I go with Peeta to Ivy's room to lay her down on her bed. Then, we walk to our room and lay down.

"Had a good day?", Peeta asks rubbing my back.

"It was a wonderful day", I say having enjoyed some quality time with our daughter.

Then, I feel Peeta embrace me, so I close my eyes and go back to sleep.


	7. It's Time

Chapter 6:

Silence. There's nothing louder than silence right now. Pushing on my eardrums. My heartbeat is the soundtrack to my terror. Why isn't he crying? _My nightmare_, I think, it's not a nightmare anymore, it is real. It came true.

"What's wrong?" –I say terrified- "Peeta, what's wrong?!", I say desperate at my husband's silence.

_A week earlier_

God, it's so annoying! I can barely get down the stairs. This pregnancy has definitely been more uncomfortable on a physical level than my first. True, I don't panic as much as I did when I was carrying Ivy. I still feel fear, but it's not so paralyzing. God! Seriously, I can't even see where I'm stepping. After a lifetime getting down the stairs, I get to the kitchen and see Peeta kneading some dough, with a fascinated Ivy looking.

"Kneading some dough, huh? For some cheese buns I hope?", I say standing behind Ivy and pulling her hair from her face.

"Well, I wasn't expecting to knead dough for cheese buns for another two days, but someone ate the ten I made a day and a half ago", Peeta says eyeing me.

"Don't blame her, daddy. She has to eat for two", Ivy says resting her face on her palms.

"Yes, Peeta. I have to eat for two. So you should probably knead some more dough, just in case", I say sitting next to Ivy.

"You're the boss", he says spreading some flour on the counter.

"So, my mum called this morning and said she'd be here at 5pm", I said excited to see her.

"Really? That is awesome! I've missed her!", Ivy says with a sparkle in her eyes.

"I know, bunny. So, I guess you and I will be picking her up at the train station then?", Peeta says turning to look at Ivy.

"Yes, daddy", Ivy confirms thrilled.

"Wow, wow, wow. You mean us _three_, right?", I say straightening my back.

"Ah, no. Katniss, it's a twenty-minute walk to the train station. You are one week from being nine months pregnant, I don't think you should be doing long walks", he says serious now.

"Fine! I'll stay here counting the stretch marks on my stomach. Does that sound better to you?", I says looking straight at him.

"Yep, that sounds excellent. Knock yourself out, beautiful", he says laughing now.

"You're so irritating", I say mockingly.

He cleans his hands and starts walking towards me.

"Yes. But I'm the irritating man you married", Peeta says leaning over me and kissing me.

"Unfortunately", I say grabbing his face with one hand and pulling him close to me for another kiss.

"So, what are we having for lunch today?", I ask Peeta and Ivy.

"Mummy, can we have some fish with mushroom sauce and rice?", Ivy asks.

"Mushroom sauce? When have you tried mushroom sauce?", I ask wondering where she could've probably tasted that. Sounds so fancy.

"Daddy made it once. You didn't try it because you were taking a nap", she says taking her hair out of her face.

"And you didn't save anything for me?", I say folding my arms.

"No, I ate it all with daddy. It was really good. But you can try it today?", she asks hopeful.

"Well, now I'm forced to accept and see if its as delicious as you say", I say wanting to taste this sauce.

"Okay, then. We are making fish with mushroom sauce and rice", Peeta says putting the dough on a bowl covering it with plastic wrap and putting it close to the kitchen window.

We spend the rest of the morning making lunch. Peeta is the one who does most of the job, giving Ivy the simplest tasks and I remain sited chopping mushrooms, parsley and seasoning the fish. Once it is lunchtime, we all sit and have some fish with the lemonade Ivy made, surprising me 'cause it actually tastes nice for a three and eight month old girl.

"Mmmm, Ivy you were right. This is so good!", it actually is really good.

"I told you, you were going to like it, mummy", Ivy says putting some of the sauce on her rice.

"I'm glad you like it, Katniss", Peeta says giving me a smile that makes me melt. "I was thinking in re-visiting the name choosing subject. The baby is going to be here any moment now, and we haven't picked a specific name yet", he says drinking his lemonade.

"Well, I think we should reduce it to two names. I don't think we should just pick one. What if the baby doesn't look like, I don't know, a Matthew for example?", I say putting some sauce on my rice, like Ivy.

"I think that's a good idea. Now, for girl's name. We had Lily, Violet and Willow, so which two do we keep?", Peeta asks looking at the both of us.

"I think we should stay with Lily and Willow", Ivy says looking at me and then at Peeta.

I was actually expecting Ivy to keep Violet, which was the name she chose. I guess that's a good quality, recognizing that your ideas might not always be the best ones, although I did like Violet. But I'm very happy with Lily and Willow.

"I like it. Do you agree, Peeta?", I ask him tucking Ivy's hair behind her ear. Her hair is so wild today.

"I love it, I was actually going to propose those two names", Peeta says with a smile on his face. "Okay, for the boys name, we had Matthew, Thomas, Cole, Patrick and Chris. A harder choice, as we have five", Peeta says rubbing his chin.

"I really like all the names, Peeta. Do you think we should name our son, Chris Matthew Cole Patrick Mellark?", I say laughing.

"That is a cool name, mummy", Ivy says excited.

Peeta and I laugh. The innocence of a child is sweet and hilarious.

"Bunny, I was joking. That name is too long", I say still laughing.

"Ohhh" –she laughs- "Sorry", she says scratching her nose.

"It's okay, bunny", Peeta says picking her up and sitting her on his lap.

"I think we should go with Patrick and Chris", I say wiping my mouth with the napkin.

"I think I like that. Do you agree, bunny?", Peeta says tickling Ivy.

"Yes! Yes! Stop, daddy!", Ivy says fighting Peeta's tickling.

"Okay then, we have the names. For a girl, Lily or Willow and for a boy Patrick or Chris", I say rubbing the spot the baby is kicking. "Okay, let's clean up this mess, so when grandma comes everything is spotless", I say standing up and picking up my dirty dishes and taking them to the sink.

"Let Ivy and me finish up here. Go rest, okay?", Peeta says taking the dishes from my hand.

"I'm pregnant not disabled", I say raising an eyebrow.

"I know, but your mum is coming in three and a half hours, and I know you're going to want to clean and by the time she gets here you are going to be tired", he says putting the dishes in the sink.

"Yes, mummy go rest. I want grandma, daddy, you and I to talk as a family and I don't want you to fall asleep in the middle of our conversation", Ivy says putting her hand on her hip. Like looking in the mirror.

I laugh raising my hands in defeat. "Fine, I guess a nap wouldn't kill me", I kiss Peeta.

"Come up with me before you start helping your dad", I say stretching my hand to Ivy.

"Okay", she says holding my hand.

We go upstairs to my room and I tell Ivy to sit on the bed while I go to the bathroom to look for a hairband and tie her up.

"Stand up, and turn around, bunny", I say grabbing her hand just incase she loses balance. "Tilt your head back", I use my comb to make a tidy ponytail. As easy as that, her face has no more hair falling on top of it, except for her bangs. "Okay, go help daddy", I say turning her around.

"Okay, thank you mummy", she says giving me a hug. Then she sits on the bed and hops off of it and leaves to the kitchen.

"Don't run, Ivy!", I say lying on the bed.

My eyes close the minute my head hits the pillow. I guess I was really tired after all. I had a dream about my baby, a boy again, we were in the meadow. Peeta, Ivy, the baby boy and me. Ivy was chasing the boy and Peeta and I were watching them with the biggest smiles plastered on our faces. Nothing else happened in the dream, it was that mundane, and yet it made me so happy. When I woke up, two hours later, I felt refreshed and happy. I have to remind myself to thank Peeta for making me rest. I stand up and go to the bathroom to wash my face. I look at myself in the mirror, I'm so different than the seventeen year old girl who fought in the rebellion. I don't look depressed and beaten anymore, I look happy. I make my way to the living room, to stumble upon a sleeping Peeta and Ivy.

"Peeta. Peeta, wake up", I say shaking him.

"Hmm? Are you okay?", he says rubbing his eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine. Please, take Ivy to her room. She has another half hour to rest and so do you if you want to, it's 3:30pm", I say barely audible.

"Okay, I'll take her to her room and I'll be right back down", Peeta says lifting Ivy up.

"Make sure to cover her with a blanket, it's chilly", I say sitting on the couch.

When Peeta comes down again, he sits next to me and I lean my head on his shoulder.

"Are we going to give this baby a middle name or is it going to be one name just like Ivy?", I ask as the thought appears suddenly on my mind.

"I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it. Do you want it to have a middle name?", he says resting his head on top of mine.

"I don't know. We'll have to see", I say closing my eyes and relaxing. "Oh, that reminds me. Thank you for making me rest. I had a beautiful dream. We were in the meadow, the four of us, we were so happy. It was a boy you know", I say smiling as I remember the dream.

"Oh yeah? Well, these makes two people telling me we are having a boy now. I'm starting to believe we are going to end up choosing between Patrick and Chris", he says holding my hand.

"Yeah, I just want to meet him", I say letting out a sigh.

"Yeah, me too. Do you think he's going to be as handsome as his father?", Peeta says. I can sense the smirk on his voice.

"Oh, I know so", I say giggling a bit.

Before I know it, I'm waking up again. The first thing I see is a note on the coffee table, I reach out and read it.

_Didn't want to wake you, Ivy and I left for the train station. We should be back with your mother at around 5:30pm._

_Love you,_

_Peeta and Ivy_

I look around to see if the house is clean enough, I decide that it is, so I just close my eyes again.

"Katniss, sweetie wake up", my mum says. My mum says!

"Mum, hey" –I stand up and hug her tightly. I haven't seen her in almost six months - "I've missed you so much", I say feeling the baby kick.

"I've missed you too. I felt that, you have a kicker, huh?", she says resting her hand on my belly.

"Yes, he's been kicking like crazy throughout the month", I say tucking portions of hair behind my ear.

"He? So she was right?", she says eyeing Ivy, whose standing next to Peeta.

"We don't know yet. But I've been having dreams that it's a boy, so…", I say giving Ivy a smile.

"Mother's instinct, never fails us", she says laughing.

"Let me take you to your room, so you can leave your stuff there", I say to my mum.

I take her to the guest room, she's only staying for two weeks, so she didn't need to rent a house like last time. We enter the room and mum puts her suitcase on her bed.

"Come here", she says stretching both hands towards me.

I walk towards her, holding her hands.

"Let me look at you. You look beautiful, Katniss", she says with tears in her eyes.

"Mum, you're making me blush", I say feeling like idiot for saying that. "I'm huge".

"So? That doesn't make you any less beautiful", she says giving me a hug. "Did you go to the doctor already?", she says wiping the tears from her face.

"No, tomorrow I have to go. Would you mind staying with Ivy?", I say resting my hand on my belly.

"Of course I wouldn't mind. I haven't seen my granddaughter in a while. I want to bond", she says excited.

I laugh, "Okay, come on. Let's go downstairs".

We had lunch as a family. Ivy was thrilled, she talked our ears off all through dinner and after. Once Ivy went to sleep, we were actually able to talk to my mum. During that time, we arrange what we would do the day I went into labor. My mum was to stay with Ivy and wait for Peeta's phone call, so they come just as the baby is about to be born. If the baby is born Dec. 24th then, there won't probably be a Christmas dinner but, we will all be together no matter what. Be it at the hospital or at home.

The next five days were spent blissfully. My appointment with Dr. Murs went great, she told us the baby would be here any day now. I started getting nervous, but I had Peeta and my mum to calm me down, and Ivy without really realizing it, would calm my nerves too.

The day before I was nine months pregnant my water broke. I was lying in bed, with a sleeping Peeta next to me. I had woken up first thing in the morning, but I didn't really feel like standing up, so I just stayed in bed thinking about nothing in particular while staring at the ceiling. I was trying to make myself stand up and go to the living room and lit the fire, as we are days from Christmas, the fire would set I nice ambiance, I thought. I was about to get out of bed, when I felt something trickling down my legs. I sat at the edge of the bed trying to calm myself down and without expecting it, I felt the first contraction. A small wince came out of my mouth before I could stop it. I felt Peeta stir.

"Katniss, are you okay?", he said putting his hand on my back.

"Peeta, my water just broke and I just had a contraction", I say with my eyes closed.

He bolted right out of bed and sat next to me.

"Okay, this is it. Change your clothes and let's go the medical centre. I'm going to go tell your mum", he says thrilled.

"Alright, don't take too long", I said holding on to the edge of the bed.

"I won't", he said giving me a kiss.

I stood up almost immediately after Peeta left the room. I changed into clean clothes and went downstairs to the living room. I sat on the couch and rested my hands on my belly. Moments later, Peeta came down the stairs with Ivy in his arms and my mum walking just behind them.

"How are you feeling, Katniss?", my mum asks with that look of focus on her face.

"Like someone who is in labor", I say with a nervous smile.

"Just try and relax", she says kissing me on the forehead.

"I'll try", I say feeling another contraction hit.

My mum sits next to me and rubs a spot on my lower back that calms the pain a lot. Now, I'm wishing she would come with me, but someone has to stay with Ivy. After the contraction is over, Peeta lowers Ivy and she walks towards me.

"He's coming today, right?", Ivy says with a smile on her face.

"Yes, bunny. Later today you're going to officially be a big sister", I say holding her hands.

She doesn't say anything, that wide grin says more than a thousand words. She looks at me and gives me a hug.

"See you later, mummy", she says letting go.

"Okay, let's go", I say looking at Peeta. "I love you, bunny", I say giving Ivy a loud kiss on her cheek.

She giggles. "I love you too, mummy".

"Listen to grandma, please. Okay?", I say staring at her big blue eyes.

"Don't worry, mummy. I'll be a good girl", she says holding my mum's hand.

"Good. Ready?", I say looking at Peeta.

"More than I'll ever be", he says picking up the bag with clothes I arranged weeks ago.

And with that, we were off to the medical centre. I hope everything goes smoothly, just like last time.


	8. Not Longer a Nightmare

Chapter 7:

_My name is Katniss Everdeen-Mellark, I live in District 12, Prim died during the rebellion, Gale's bomb probably killed Prim, I haven't talked to him in almost 20 years, I'm married to Peeta Mellark, we have a daughter named Ivy, today's December 22__nd __and most probably my second child is going to be born today. _I try to stay calm. I have a feeling at the pit of my stomach that something's not right.

"Katniss, what's bothering you?", Peeta asks handing me a glass with water.

"Nothing. Don't wo…", he cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.

"Don't lie. I can tell something's bothering you. What is it?", he says sitting in front of me on my hospital bed.

I sigh. "I just… ever since we left home, I can't shake off this feeling that something is not right", I say trying to ignore the lump in my throat and drink some water.

"Why do you say that? Are you in pain?", he says a bit alarmed.

"No, no. Nothing like that. It's just a feeling", I say resting my hand on my stomach.

"You are just nervous. I know it's hard, but try and relax. Maybe get some sleep before the contractions get worse?", he says giving a soft smile.

"Yes, I think I'll give it a try", I say sliding down the bed a bit.

"I'm going outside and make a quick call home to check how Ivy and your mum are doing, okay?", he says playing with my braid.

"Okay, don't forget to tell them that I love them", I say feeling myself slip off into unconsciousness.

I'm not sure, but I think he says _I won't_, and with that, I fall asleep. I have a dream. I'm in the woods, just walking and feeling happy, relaxed and free. Even though that's how I normally feel when I'm in the woods, I still haven't recovered those feelings 100%. I would say that I feel 90% of what I used to feel when I was with my father, before he died. But, in this dream, I feel like I used to feel when I was with him. It's refreshing, it's home. When I start waking up, I just can't stop thinking that up until this moment everything has been calm; _too_ calm for comfort.

When I fully awake, I see I'm alone. I'm surprised that I just woke up. I was expecting a contraction to wake me up. This does not help me calm down. I take advantage of this alone time to try and figure out what's wrong. On a physical level, I don't feel any different than I did when I had Ivy. Except maybe for the painless contractions, I just feel pressure, it's uncomfortable but not painful. Aren't I supposed to be happy about this? No pain? I should probably tell Dr. Murs. On an emotional level, I'm calmer than I was with Ivy. I'm annoyed at the fact that I'm worried about feeling too okay with this. What the hell is wrong with me? I was freaking out the moment my water broke and now, I'm just peaceful, but it unsettles me. I don't react this way in this kind of situations. I freak out. I insult people, I throw things at them or I shut down because of the internal war happening in my mind. But I never feel _peaceful_. I'm about to continue my internal monologue, when I feel another contraction. As soon as it's over, Peeta and Dr. Murs come in.

"You're awake. Did you rest?", he asks leaning over and giving me a kiss on the lips.

"Yes, actually. I did" –I sit up a little- "…and that's what's bothering me", I say looking at Dr. Murs.

"What do you mean, Katniss?", Dr. Murs said walking towards the machine that measures the contractions.

"I mean… I slept for almost an hour. Uninterrupted. Isn't that a little weird? I thought the contractions would wake me up", I say a bit irritated.

Dr. Murs doesn't answer. She just stares at the paper the machine prints. I turn to Peeta and see he is looking straight at Dr. Murs.

"What is it?", Peeta asks holding my hand.

Ignoring Peeta, Dr. Murs directs her gaze at me. "How long have you been having painless contractions, Katniss?", she asks very business-like.

"Um, two hours maybe?", I say worried now.

Dr. Murs shakes her head very disapprovingly. "You should've told me before. Let me check you"

"What is it?", I ask while putting my legs on the straps.

"It is not a given, but studies suggest that painless contractions is a sign of faster dilation. Which means, that we have too keep a closer eye on you, because we won't know as easily if the baby is ready to be born yet", she says while checking me. "Yeah, you've dilated 5cm. You are half way there now".

"Oh my God, half way there?! We've only been here for four hours!", Peeta says with a smile on his face.

"Yes, it seems that the theory applies with you, Katniss", she says patting my knee.

After checking the machine again, Dr. Murs leaves the room telling me she'll be checking on me every hour. I feel better now, but not entirely. Now, I know I'm having painless contraction, which is great, I guess. But, I still feel like something's not right. I try to ignore that feeling and focus on Peeta, who's grinning from ear to ear.

"We have an impatient baby, huh?", Peeta says touching my stomach.

I chuckle, "You are screwed, our baby has my patience. Now, you're stuck with two of us", I say wondering how much like Ivy the baby is going to be, if it's going to be like Ivy at all.

"Well, I have Ivy on my team. Now, it is a fair fight", he says sitting on the chair next to my chair. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I'm just anxious, that's all", I lie. I don't want to, but if I tell him that I still feel weird, he's going to worry and I don't want that.

"I'm glad. We've done this before, and look how things have turned out. Ivy is a great kid. I have no doubt in my mind that things are going to be the same with this baby. You believe me, right?", his eyes not leaving mine.

"I believe you", I say, believing him.

The next four hours and a half fly by. Before I know it, I'm being told that I'm 9cm and to be ready, because this baby is coming any moment now.

"Peeta, you should call my mum and tell her how things are moving along. She'll know when to come with Ivy", I say, wanting my mother and Ivy to be right outside that door the moment the baby is born, so we can be together as a family.

"Okay, I'll be right back, then",Peeta says existing the room.

"You don't want to be there anymore, don't you?" –I say to my stomach- "I want you to come out too; I can't wait to meet you", I sigh. Now, I'm getting nervous.

The door to my room opens and Peeta comes in. "All done. Your mum says she'll be coming in half an hour. She thinks the baby won't take long to come. Just in case though, she's bringing some colouring books for Ivy to get entertained".

"That's great. I want them close. Don't ask me why", I say extending my hand to Peeta to hold. "I love you. Thank you for being so patient with me today. I know I've been acting weird".

"It's okay, I can't even imagine what it feels like, but it can't be an easy process to go through, it's okay to feel weird. And I love you too", he says kissing me full on the lips.

We are interrupted by Dr. Murs, who comes to do her hourly check up on me. I follow the same routine I've been following for the past eight and a half hours. The only difference this time, is that this baby is ready to be born.

"Okay, Katniss. You're officially 10cm dilated. Let's have this baby", Dr. Murs says standing up and picking up the phone next to my bed and calling for a couple of nurses to assist her.

The nurses come into the room with a tray full of medical supplies and they help me get into position and tell Peeta were to stand. Even though, it is not the first time we are having a baby, it is the first time we are having a baby in a hospital. So we let ourselves be guided.

"Alright, Katniss. When you feel the next contraction I want you to push for ten seconds. Ready?", she says putting on some rubber gloves on.

"Yes, I'm ready", I say squeezing Peeta's hand. I wait for the contraction, and when it comes, I do as instructed and push with all I have.

"… nine, ten. Very good, Katniss. Do the same for the next one, okay?", she says focused.

When the next contraction hits, I push again. I do this for twenty minutes; until Dr. Murs tells the nurse something I don't quite catch.

"What is it?", I ask panting a little.

She looks at Peeta and me. "You have been pushing for twenty five minutes now, and there hasn't been any visible change. I can't see baby's head, I can feel it, but I can't see it. I have my suspicions, but I don't want to speculate. That's why I've asked the nurse to bring me a special instrument to check around the baby".

I freeze. Is there something wrong with our baby? Was that feeling I had before warning me about this? _Please be okay, please please be okay._ I try to transmit this thought to the baby with all my might.

"Hey, we don't know anything's wrong. Don't panic, you can do this. I know you can", Peeta says holding my hand and kissing me on the temple.

"Okay. I'll try not to panic", I say breathing in and out trying to stay calm.

The nurse comes back with a weird looking instrument with a small screen on it. Dr. Murs uses the instrument and gives it back to the nurse who leaves the room with the instrument again.

"Your baby has its umbilical chord wrapped around its neck three times. We won't now the state of the baby until its born, but it is going to be harder for you, Katniss. You're going to have to push a lot harder. Do you have any questions?" she says looking from Peeta to me.

"No, just make sure the baby is alright", I say not wanting to over think this too much. Peeta nods his head in ascent.

The nurse comes back and informs Peeta and me that my mum and Ivy are here. It calms me a bit, but not too much.

"Okay, when the next contraction comes push as hard as you can", she says taking her previous position.

When the first contraction came I thought I was pushing with all I had, but now, once the contraction comes, I really feel like I'm pushing with all I had. After twenty minutes of pushing so hard, I thought I would give myself an aneurism; the baby was out. But everything was silent. The baby's not crying. I see Peeta stand up and follow the nurse that has our baby.

"What's wrong?" –I say terrified- "Peeta, what's wrong?!", I say desperate at my husband's silence.

I see the nurse hit a red button and tell Dr. Murs something about a blue baby? That term sounds familiar. I'm taken back to a day before my father died. A woman had come to my mum to ask her to deliver her baby. When her baby was born, she didn't cry and my mum immediately assisted the baby. After a while the baby cried, and she explain to the mother that her baby was not receiving oxygen and that's the reason she had turn blue.

_My baby's not breathing_, I think. I feel light headed. I feel like the little energy I have left is being drained out of me. I manage to call Peeta once again.

"Peeta, please. The baby…", those are the last words I manage to get out before everything goes black.


	9. The Day After

Chapter 8:

This feeling is all too familiar. Back when I was in District 13, it was a weekly occurrence, to say the least. The sensation of floating in my subconscious is one I truly don't like. I fight it, but morphling keeps pulling me back. I slowly start pulling myself out of the haze that is morphling, and when I do, the first thing I'm conscious about is the pressure of someone's hand in mine. I turn my head slowly to the left to see Peeta holding my hand, with his head against the mattress.

"Peeta?" I shake him slightly.

He lifts his head a little, and the moment he looks me in the eye, it all comes rushing back. Our baby wasn't breathing. I feel my throat closing up. The heart monitor starts beeping alarmingly fast. This seems to bring Peeta to his senses and he stands up immediately and tries to calm me down.

"Katniss, calm down! He's okay, he's okay. Please, just breathe. That's it, breathe" says Peeta holding my face with both his hands.

After I've managed to calm myself down, I let Peeta's words sink in.

"He?" I say in shock.

"Yeah, he's a perfect healthy little boy"

I let out some kind of sigh-laugh combination and then I start crying. For a moment I thought I lost him. I don't even want to think what that would've done to me. To us. Once I stop sobbing into Peeta's shirt and recover some self-control, I say the only thing that comes to mind.

"Peeta, I want to meet our son"

He smiles and kisses me full on the lips. "Be right back" and he leaves the room.

I brush away my tears and sit up. When I'm comfortable, I look at the clock. _4:06 pm, _I read. It was around 4:00pm when I started pushing, so it must have been around 4:45pm when the baby was born. Then, why am I just waking up? What the hell happened?

The door to my room opens, distracting me from my thoughts. Peeta comes in with the baby fitting perfectly in the crook of his arms. A smile creeps onto my face. Peeta walks towards me and hands me the baby. "Here he is" he says with the widest smile plastered on his face.

"Hey, you really gave me a scare there, little one" I say not even bothering to contain my tears. _Happy_ tears. "Peeta, he has your hair" I run a hand through his small head, feeling the softness of the little blond hair he has.

"Yeah, but he has your eyes" He in fact has my eyes. _The perfect combination_, I think. Ivy has my hair and Peeta's eyes and now this baby has Peeta's hair and my eyes.

After a while of just staring at our son, caressing his cheek and feeling the wonderful feel of his heartbeat under my fingers, he fell asleep. I motion for Peeta to lie in bed with me; he has probably sat on that chair long enough. I lean into him, he kisses my temple and I sigh.

"For a moment I thought…"

"I know" he touches the baby's hand.

"Peeta, what happened? I was unconscious for almost a day. What went wrong?" I say turning my head slightly towards him.

He pulls back a little and runs a hand through his face. "You two really scared me yesterday, you know?" I frown confused. I stay silent, signaling for him to continue.

"The baby had his umbilical chord wrapped around his neck three times. Remember?" –I nod- "Dr. Murs said that the moment you started pushing harder, it would seem, that the extra effort caused a tear on the wall of your uterus" he pauses letting the information sink in. "The baby's body was putting pressure on the tear, so you weren't losing any blood. But once he came out, you started bleeding out. Fast. That's why you lost consciousness"

"Oh" That's all I manage to get out. I thought I would give myself an aneurism, but apparently I gave myself a tear in the uterus. After a moment of silence, I ask Peeta. "Him? What about him? I heard one of the nurses say they had a blue baby. That means he wasn't breathing" I look down and with my thumb I brush the baby's eyebrow.

"Your mum…" I frown. What does my mum has to do with anything? I was about to rephrase my question, thinking he misunderstood. But, he continued before I had the chance. "She saved him. When the nurse pressed the emergency button, Dr. Murs turned her attention to the baby. When she got to him, she turned to look at you for just a second, and that's when she realized that you had lost consciousness and that your blood pressure had gone down considerably. So, she told the nurse to go get someone fast. The moment she said that, your mum came in. She looked at you for just a second, not even stopping and went directly to the baby and… she brought him back"

I'm stunned. My mum saved my baby, and by extension, me. I must have stayed silent for a while because Peeta stood up and sat on the bed so he was looking right at me.

"Katniss? Are you okay? I know it's a lot to take in"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Where are they? My mum and Ivy? I want to see them" I say with a still sleeping baby on my arms.

Peeta looks down for a moment and then back up at me. "There's something else. It's about Ivy"

"What do you mean? Did something happen to her?" I hear the heart monitor pick up again.

"No, no. Nothing like that. It's just that… when your mother heard the alarm, being a nurse I assume she knew what it meant, she told one of the nurses to take Ivy to the day care facilities so she could help. Ivy, I guess, sensed something was wrong and she got off the nurse's hold and ran after your mother and…" he stops. He stands up and puts his hands in his pants pockets. "She saw the moment you passed out, Katniss. She heard the nurses screaming things at each other, the sound of the alarm. Then, the nurse took her away, and I heard her call you" he sighs. "I've never heard so much panic in her voice before" I see a lone tear running through Peeta's cheek.

I cover my mouth with my right hand to try and control the tears that are threatening to spill. All of this time, the only thing I've tried to do was make sure Ivy had a normal childhood. A childhood filled with happiness and joy, and now that's ruined. I know first hand what it feels like to have your mother so close, yet so far. Feeling impotent at not being able to do something for her. To feel so scared, you think that if you take your eyes off of her she might disappear. I know I wasn't gone as my mother was, but I never wanted Ivy to feel that. I don't care if it was only twenty seconds she was standing at that door, those twenty seconds have affected her in a way that will torment her until she is old enough to understand what really happened.

I uncover my mouth and pull myself forward a bit and take a hold of one of Peeta's hand. "Where is she?" I ask with a shaky voice.

"She's at home with your mum. I called a couple of hours ago. She was refusing to eat and she barely had any sleep. Your mum said she cried herself to sleep and then she woke up a couple of times at night asking for you. I told her that as soon as she woke up again to come over" he squeezes my hand.

"She's doing exactly what I do on my bad days" I lean back on the bed again and look down at the baby. He's sleeping so peacefully. I wonder how I'm going to manage to mess him up too.

"It's not your fault. So don't even dare to blame yourself. If anything it's my fault. I should've done something. I just stared at her, I didn't even take a step towards her. She was so scared and I just stood there" he runs a hand through his hair.

"If I don't get to blame myself, you can't either. It just happened. We'll manage it, as we always do. Together" I say both for Peeta and myself. "Now, come here and hold me" I say needing to feel him close to me. He laughs a little a lies next to me.

I let Peeta hold me for a while and then he speaks.

"You know, we can't keep calling him 'the baby'. We need to come up with a name" Peeta says touching the baby's little feet.

I laugh "Yeah. But, he doesn't look like a Chris"

"Or a Patrick" says Peeta. "He looks more like a…"

"Like a Cole" I say.

"Yeah, but I think he looks like a middle name kind of baby. Don't you think?" Peeta says more relaxed now.

"What do you have in mind?" I look at the baby.

"Matthew. Cole Matthew Mellark. Do you like it?" he says looking at me.

I smile. _Cole Matthew_, I say to myself. I like the sound of that. "I love it" I lean forward and kiss Peeta. I look down at the baby, "Do you like it? That is a pretty awesome name. Your sister is going to go nuts when she hears we chose to name you Cole"

"Yes, that is certain. Now little man, I am very grateful you are a boy because now I won't be the only man in the house. You see, it is hard for me to deny anything to your mother or sister, let alone when they both want the same thing. So now I will have your help to fight their charm"

I chuckle "Unless he turns out to be a momma's boy and then you're at a loss yet again, Mr. Mellark"

"Well, if that is the case, which I seriously doubt, I can manage the two of you, I'm pretty certain I can handle one more" he smiles.

"We'll see" I say kissing Cole's forehead.

There's a knock on the door and Dr. Murs comes in.

"Good afternoon, Katniss. How are you feeling?" she asks with a friendly smile.

"I feel good, actually. How many days do I have to stay here?" I ask anxious to leave already.

"Don't get so excited yet. You are going to be here at least for the next four days" Dr. Murs says.

"Four days? Seriously? I have to spend Christmas here?!" I say giving her a look.

"You suffered a tear in your uterus. I had to stitch you up, Katniss. You have to rest. Your uterus is still swollen by the actual birth, and those stitches could become lose as it returns to its normal size. Not that it will happen, because I'm good at what I do" she says confident.

"If you're so good at what you do, then why can't I rest at home?" I say challenging her.

"Because I don't trust you. You'll probably go hunting in two days. So to be sure, I'm keeping you here for the next four days." Oh well, I guess she knows me well enough. "But, if you behave and follow everything I tell you to follow, I can _consider_ letting you go in two days"

"Ugh, fine. I'll follow whatever you say" I see Peeta suppressing a smile. "Don't even dare to laugh" I try to look as menacing as possible, but I'm holding a baby in my arms with a small smile on my face, which makes the task at hand difficult.

"Now, lets see how my other patient is doing" Dr. Murs walks towards me and instructs me to lift the baby's shirt slightly so she can listen to his heartbeat.

"Have you guys chosen a name for the baby yet? Or do we still have call him 'baby Mellark-Everdeen'?" she says with a smile while moving her stethoscope in different places of Cole's chest.

"Well, you can now call him Cole. Cole Matthew Mellark" Peeta says proudly.

"Cole. That is one good name. Then we'll put it down on his birth certificate immediately. Put his body against your chest. Yes, like that" she now puts the stethoscope on his back. "Well, heart and lungs sound wonderful. This guy can go home whenever he likes, unlike his mother"

"Oh, feeling hilarious, are we? Why don't you come back and tell me that when I no longer have stitches in my uterus?"

"Oh, Katniss. I'm smarter than that" she puts the stethoscope around her neck. "Well, I better get back to my patients, you know the nice ones" she says with a chuckle.

"I would run if I were you, Dr." Peeta says opening the door for her.

"Not like she can chase me down anyway" she says in a low whisper.

"I heard that!" I say with a giggle. "You have a crazy doctor, you know Cole? But we like her, don't tell her that though" Cole wraps his fingers around mine.

Peeta lingers at the door for a moment and then closes it again.

"We should put Cole on his bed now. Your mum and Ivy are here"

**I am deeply sorry for the late update. I tried so many times to write something, but nothing came to me. Major writer's block, I was extremely frustrated with myself. Hopefully the next chapter won't take me more than a month to write. I hope you liked this chapter. I encourage all of you reading to let me know if you liked it or not. Thanks for reading! **


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